Playing through the struggles and a special audience member…
I’m sitting here in my apartment with the windows open—it is awesome to be in warmer weather, enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine. Of course, I’m really just enjoying it here and there because I’m working and things are busy, but it has really eased my stress to be in this environment.
Yesterday’s show went really well. It turned out to be a hard day for several reasons—none of them music-related—just general life struggles that came up yesterday. By the time I got to the show, I was feeling tired and run down. But I also was feeling really happy to be able to play. Over the last year, things in life have been so challenging that playing music increasingly feels like this amazingly comforting realm to be in—I can just let myself sink into and inhabit the songs. It is meditative to be in that state and it often feels therapeutic.
There were some little technical difficulties to deal with during the show, but I just ignored them and went on anyway. Things like that used to phase me more, but now I find I can just get into my zone and do my thing. I even ended up doing one song that really should be played with a drum loop acapella—I mean just me and the piano—it turned out to be really fun and was received really well! I love live performance because sometimes a technical glitch turns into a special moment. I was so excited too to see people’s reactions to the new songs—it was really positive! And I really enjoy playing them—it feels like I am coming into my own.
One of the sweetest moments during the show was when a little girl raised her hand during a break between my songs. I like playing at Borders because kids and families are often there. Well, when I saw that adorable little girl with her hand raised, making eye contact with me like she REALLY wanted to say something, I stopped and said, “Well hello there, do you have something you’d like to share with us?” And she smiled, nodded her head, and said “My brother!” Her little brother was sitting next to her and I guess she just really wanted to point out to me that he was there. It was so cute! I was like, “Well, that is wonderful! I’m very happy that you and your brother are here.” She also danced around in her little chair and clapped her hands while I played. Later, she raised her hand again and so I called on her again. And she said with a sad face, “We have to go home now.” And I said, “Thanks so much for telling me. It was great having you all here.” SO sweet!
Today I am getting ready for another show tonight and for rehearsals and recordings with my band starting on Monday. There is a lot to do, but I am determined to take a moment here and there to take a deep breath, enjoy the sun on my skin, and be thankful for these opportunities and another day to make and play music.